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Dubsguy is an adjective used in the context of shitpost issues and threadshitting to refer to a class of "Get" identities formed by a match between an individual's Bateman identity and the behavior or role considered appropriate for one's business card.[1]

Kristen Schilt and Laurel Westbrook defined "dubsguy" as a label for "individuals who have successfully get doubles in a thread", complementing "derailing shit threads".[2] A more popular term is "checkem normative".[3] However, unlike "dubsguy", this term suggests that there is a single, agreed-upon system of derail norms.

There are many derivatives of the term in use including bateman, chainsawed hooker, and HEY PAUL. You're fucking dead, you little shitstain. Don't think I'm fucking joking, because I'm fucking not. Does it look like I'm fucking joking you little shithead? I will fucking bury you. When I find you, and I will, a shitstorm of biblical proportions will rain down upon thee and I will bask in the glory of you getting the ass-whooping of your life. I am 100$ serious. I already have your IP, and your home address, phone number, credit card information, and social security number are all just a few clicks away thanks to my leet hacker skills. You are fucking ruined, little kid. You thought you knew hardship? You have no fucking idea of true hardship is, but you will once I'm finished with you, you little prick. Don't even try, don't even think of fucking trying to stop me because you will be met by so much resistance you will break down and have to be committed to an asylum. That's how intense I am, and that's how goddamn serious I am. I have a black belt in ninjitsu and karate and kung fu and mixed martial arts so I will be able to kill you in over three hundred different ways before you can even finish one breath. You are going to wish you had never even been born, you piece of shit. You are going to wish you had been an abortion before I'm even halfway done with you. Don't even fucking say anything else to me or I will break your ass in half, you little shithead.


If you wanna talk like that to me why don't you come here and say it to me face so i can answer your insults with a swift fist to the nose. yea you have a lot to say from hundreds of miles away but i bet if my fists were in reach of your face you would be like a tv on mute with no volume button So do yourself a favor and keep your mouth shut unless you want to die. Next time you think about saying something like that to me I want you to remember one thing. I know the guy that created google maps and I can locate you in the time it took me to type this.Don't want anymore problems....didn't think so faggots. You have any idea what gorilla warfare is? I do, I was in the US Marine Core and I perfected it. I'm fully capable of using it on you motherfuckers. Do you know the dander your in if I find you? I am 100$ serious. Bunch of god damn newfaf loser here and I will not have it. At least I've had sex, had girlfriends, and gotten laid, and blowjobbed unlike you virgin unpatriotic SHITS.


I'm getting sick and tired of listening to your shit. I don't give a fuck who you are or where you live,
you can count on me to be there to bring your fucking life to a hellish end. I'll put you in so much
fucking pain that it'll make jesus being nailed to a cross in the desert look like a fucking back massage
on a tropical island.I don't give a fuck how tough you are, how well you can fight, or how many fucking
guns you own to protect yourself. I'll fucking show up at your house when you aren't at home. I'll turn
all the lights on in your house, leave all the water running, open your fridge door and not close it, and
turn your gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. You're going to start stressing the fuck out, your
blood pressure will triple, and you'll have a fucking heart attack. You'll go to the hospital for heart
operation, and the last thing you'll see when you're being put under in the operating room is me hovering
above you, dressed up like a doctor. When you wake up after the operation, you'll be scared for your fucking
life, wondering what I did to you while you were being operated on, wondering what ticking time bomb is in
your chest waiting to go off. You'll recover fully from your heart surgery. And when you walk out the front
door of that hospital to go home, I'll run you over with my fucking car out of nowhere and kill you.I just
want you to know how easily I could fucking destroy your pathetic excuse of a life, but how I'd rather go
to a great fucking length to make sure your last remaining days are spent in a living, breathing fucking hell.
It's too fucking late to save yourself, but don't bother committing suicide either...I'll fucking resuscitate
you and kill you again myself you bitchfaced faggot. Welcome to hell, population: you.
nevermind i am gay



You American are lazy and fat. Do you wanting Mcdonald? Do you wanting Wendy? Do you wanting tacos bell? American are pig disgusting. American is so greedy and are using up whole world resourse. When I seeing fat American tourist eating in restaurant in Japan I feeling ill and not can eat my meal! USA obesity DISGUSTING! Your country is decadent and corrupt. Gorge Bush is fucking lying dirty dog. I piss and shit on your country flag. You makeing me so angry! Nagasaki Hiroshima destroy with atoms bomb 1945! Fucking USA kill thousands womens and baby! America is A MURDER! I hateing you so much! Fucking USA shit cunt. I HATEING YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!! FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU AMERICAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!


OKAY ALL YOU SHIT TAKERS YOU NEED TO KNOW ONE THING.

I will not tolerate any more of you faggot ass faggots disrespecting me. do you know how close you are to being completely olibiterated? i am not even close to joking when i say you better shut the fuck up. is talking back to me really worth ending up dead in some ditch covered in your coevered in your own blood while you slowly bleeding out of a gunshot and knife would as you eventually die to death? FUCK YOU and show me the respect i deserve or you WILL know the true power of the fury of my unmstoppable raging wrath


Fuck you, you stupid cunt. You are a piece of worthless trash whose opinion is about as valuable as a piece of lint. You're nothing but an insecure faggot who gets off on gay porn and getting fucked in the ass by old men. Quit wasting space and fuck off already, you fucking dick sucking queer. Nobody gives a flying shit about anything you have to say. You have the intellect of a dead cockroach. Your diaper wearing ass is too stupid to even grasp the concept of how to take a shit in the toilet, let alone anything about humanity and life and death. You can barely even breathe without messing up, that's why your dumbass wakes up in the middle of the night struggling to breathe, because you can't even breathe right half the time. You are the embodiment of failure, ignorance, sickness, disability, stupidity and worthlessness. Your parents would be overjoyed by the news of your death. Both of your parents are white but you are still the biggest NIGGER on the fukcing planet. Not a single human being has any ounce of care, respect or compassion for you. The best thing you will ever experience in life is a hard on that you get from being robbed and killed in a a home invasion. Fuck you, faggot.


You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As we say in Texas. I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you.
You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.
You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselfs in recognition of what they had done.
I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?
Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.


I'm going to forego the formalities and just come out and say it: I'm ashamed to be living on the same fucking planet as you. I'd love, LOVE to just fly on up to Jupiter and suffocate right about now. I mean seriously, what the fuck could possibly make you think this is a good idea? It makes me want to take a straight razor and carve your eyebrows off of your face, then shove them into your urethra using only the power of my anger. The only way this thread can have any kind of goodness left in it is if Jesus Christ himself came down and started posting his dick. I know you'd love that, being the faggot that you are. If I had any kind of a choice, hell, I'd make it so your grandparents weren't born. I don't give a fuck if there is no effect on history because AT LEAST YOU ARE NOT ALIVE.



You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you ckoke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.
You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.
And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?
You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper.
On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.


wow youre a fucking faggot how did hitler miss you when it came time for the oven holy shit you beat off your dad for five dollars a minute and his circle jerk buddies come over and cum on your face with dirty semen that you got herpes from after you slept with your mom who fucked micheal jackson at neverland ranch with five other little boys who took eachothers anal virginity which you haven't had for over five years since your uncle said he'd give you three dollars if you took it up the ass from a wildebeast in the plains of kenya and you got aids since youre a fucking jungle bunny and niggers are born with aids since its a hereditary trait which brings me to my next point you sucked saddam hussein and osama bin ladens sand nigger cocks in exchange for an ak47 and then the entire group of taliban stuck their dicks in your mouth and ejaculated black semen shortly after taking off to plane nuke the world trade center then cleveland steamering you in the mouth after corey lidle crashed his plan into your asshole causing the yankees to organize an asswide search for him while you bled out of your asshole from all the taliban cock causing the entire yankee team to be engulfed in anal leaking blood


You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.
You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away.
I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh.


lol look at this fucking idiot, so mad, and throwing threats around he knows he won't keep. Just trying to look like such a big guy. gtfo of here you idiot piece of shit. If you get this mad from someone on the internet, then I'm sure one day your going to be alone in a cell rotting away from beating the shit out of your wife, a girl friend, or someone who didn't even deserve it. In fact just die now... Also if you want to come and find me like you said you would, feel free I'll say all this shit straight to your face.


the only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of your of whay you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.
Fuck you.



What? WHAT WAS THAT? Sorry I must have misheard, I thought I heard a giant faggot mouthing off at me with something he sure as fuck could never back up, but it must have just been my imagination. Because after I imagined hearing that, I proceeded to imagine how good it would feel to break that persons fucking spinal cord over my knee. I imagined how my next step is usually to rip out one of the persons fucking ribs and jab it straight through their nose into their brain cavity. I imagined pulling that rib back out, and then brainfucking that dead faggot through the new massive hole in his face I created.
But I didn't really hear anything, right? no one would be fucking dumb enough to talk to me like that on here.


What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.




THAT'S IT. THAT'S FUCKING IT. I'M FUCKING DONE WITH THIS WORLD. I'M FUCKING DONE WITH THIS WHOLE FUCKING SHITHOLE. FUCK THIS. FUCK YOU. FUCK THE AUTHOR. FUCK EVERYTHING.

I'M FUCKING OUT.

I'M GOING TO GO DRINK SOME FUCKING BLEACH AND THEN DRIVE MY GODDAMN CAR INTO ONCOMING TRAFFIC. I AM NOT GOING TO LIVE IN A FUCKING WORLD THAT CONDONES THIS SHIT ANY LONGER.

I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF, GO TO HELL AND BATTLE SATAN UNTIL I CAN WRESTLE THE FUCKING THRONE OF HELL FROM HIS ASS. I'M GOING TO GATHER THE FORCES OF THE UNDERWORLD AND HARNESS THEIR DARK POWER TO RETURN TO REAP UNHOLY VENGEANCE FOR THE TWO MINUTES OF MY FUCKING LIFE I LOST READING THOSE TWO PAGES OF THIS PIECE OF SHIT.

I WILL WASH OVER THIS WORLD WITH MY WRETCHED ARMIES. I WILL INCINERATE THE WORLD AND SALT THE EARTH SO THAT NO LIFE WILL GROW FROM THE ASHES. I WILL TURN THIS REALM INTO A PLANE OF TORMENT AND AGONY TO PUNISH THE AUTHOR OF THIS SHIT. I WILL SPEND EONS MAKING HIM REGRET THE MOMENT HE SAT BEFORE HIS SHITTY FUCKING MACBOOK TO BEGIN THIS FUCKING ABORTION.

I WILL RAPE HIS SOUL UNTIL THERE IS NOTHING LEFT BY A PUDDLE OF BLOOD AND TEARS WHERE ONCE HE STOOD. I WILL MAKE YOU WATCH. I WILL MAKE THE WORLD KNOW THAT FOURTH GRADE ENGLISH IS FUCKING MANDATORY AND NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND IS THE WORST GODDAMN THING TO HAPPEN TO THE UNIVERSE SINCE MAN CLIMBED OUT OF THE PRIMORDIAL FUCKING OOZE.


YOLO