Note: This is a page that some people will find offensive. Just because someone else's opinion offends you doesn't mean it should be censored. Remember that this is SATIRE, don't get butt-hurt on other people's ideas.
There are many people who do not agree with non-binary genders and so write Satirical Genders to poke fun at them. Examples include Apache Attack Helicopter and Scary Godsexual. Satirical Genders are not genders that are just random spam like hitlerdidnothingwronggender but rather something that has actual thought put into it in order to critique non-binary genders.
1: Random spam is not allowed like hitlerdidnothingwronggender
3: This is the one and only page on the wikia where satirical genders are allowed to be posted. If you post it somewhere else it will be either deleted or moved, depending on the quality.
4: It should have some degree of originality.
5: Please be polite and civil in the comment section.
6: It should try to make a point.
Admin's Note: An important but controversial part of this Wikia's history.
Second Admin's Note: confuses sexual orientation with gender
Scary Godsexual refers to the gender identity that is unique amongst other gender identities. One can only be attracted to a Scary Godsexual if they, themselves are Scary Godsexual. This is because they share the same gender and sexual attraction with each other. Those who identify as such only take interest in others who are also associated with the community as a whole.
Scary Godsexual is a pocket identification that is isolated from other identities, and as such, cannot merely be defined by terms such as 'female' or 'male', nor would it be politically correct to ascertain them under terms such as 'transsexual' or 'asexual' among others. It is largely the broadening of one's gender in the interest of narrowing one's identity. Analytically, it is not wrong to say that Scary Godsexual in essence, is a untigender-identity, in that only those who call themselves such can seek companionship with others who share this identity.
Scary Godgenders are against sexual relationships because in the wise words of renowned Scary Godsexual theorist NSGMStrongarm, "It might get our peepees dirty."
Apache Attack Helicopter
I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I’m ####### retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Apache” and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
Admin's Note: Pokes fun at exclusive genders.
Whitestraightmalecisgender is a gender made exclusively for white, straight, cis, males. Anyone else who identifies as this is a racist anti-white manphobe. It is an important part of white, straight, cis, male culture, and should not be appropriated by others.
Admin's Note: confuses gender with otherkin. Also confuses gender with sexual orientation. People who identify as OmniIronial sexually and physically identify as metal constructs. This can include but is not specific to, waffle irons, assorted buildings, An oil pipe or even a Minecraft pickax. People often misconstrue this concept due to its unnatural nature. Misconceptions surround this gender, and its important to educate yourself before identifying as an Omnilronal. It is important to note that Omnilronials are only exclusively sexually attracted to others of their same or similar gender and therefore, few and far hold steady relationships.
Yes Please is a Pocket Gender with an estimated 1 - 10 members identifying as part of this community. Although this gender is not officially recognized by the LGBT+ community it entails an important, yet select, part of the non-binary gender community.
Yes Please, not to be mistaken for Ultigender or Pangender, wholly represents all genders including yet undiscovered/uncreated genders as well as spiritual and cultural genders such as Two-Spirit and Hijra. Other genders include animal and inanimate object genders that are not yet understood to humans.
The community motto is: "I have a plug for every socket and a socket for every plug"
User note: mocks genderfluid
Transcontinental is a nonbinary gender identity that changes whenever a person travels to any location that is not their homeland. Anything that prevents travel such as a wall between the American-Mexican border is seen as extremely offensive. An individual that identifies as transcontinental may identify as female, and when they travel become male, or they could become a demiboy. It is truly up to the individual.
User note: confuses gender with cat ownership
A person who identifies with any gender identity and also owns a cat, or wishes to in the foreseeable future.
Two-Spirit Feline Gender
User note: confuses gender with cat ownership and shapeshifting
A person who identifies as a Two-Spirit and also owns a cat, or wishes to in the foreseeable future. It is common for a Two-Spirit Feline Gender to morph into jungle cats (only available at level 8).
Two-Spirit Lunar Gender
User note: confuses gender with wolf ownership and shapeshifting
See Two-Spirit Feline Gender, the only difference being that a Two-Spirit Lunar Gender owns a wolf and not a cat, and tends to use their shape-shifting ability sparingly and only during the Waxing Gibbous moon.
String Theory Gender
String Theory Gender (also known as Quantum Foam Gender), is a gender that relates to string theory- the theory that the most fundamental level of reality is composed of one-dimensional, vibrating strings that form 2D and 3D constructs like particles by linking together as quantum foam. To learn more about string theory, google it.
How does string theory relate to gender?
In 2016, Christius Mourphy combined the concepts of the fundamental nature of reality with the human concept of gender. String Theory Gendered individuals are able to identify as any other gender, including being Agender, because as string theory encompasses all of reality, String Theory Gender encompasses all known and undocumented gender identities.
What characteristics differentiate String Theory Gendered individuals?
String Theory Gendered individuals identify themselves at their root of being, one dimensional strings. They accept that everything that makes them who they are, from their biochemistry to their deepest feelings, emanate from the fluctuating energy of quantum foam and the varying vibrations of one dimensional strings. As such, String Theory Gendered individuals usually feel "at one" with the Universe (or even the Multiverse), and as a consequence, believe in human unity rather than seeing one another as "individual beings".
This does not mean that they do not thrive with their own individual ambitions and personalities, but that on a spiritual and quantum level, they realize the truth that humans are all part of one creation, rather than separate entities. String Theory Gender generally lends itself well to the spiritual belief of Pantheism, the belief of God being in all things and all things being part of one God.
How do I know if I am String Theory Gender/ Identify String Theory Gendered individuals?
People identifying as String Theory Gendered are very rare. The known community only consists of around 20 people, including Christius Mourphy and his friends. However, Mourphy claims more people might identify as this gender if more people knew of it, and that this would be beneficial in achieving unity amongst the human race.
Most people who identify as String Theory Gendered also have their own individual genders, which do not clash with String Theory Gender, so they are essentially invisible. However, they may behave more ethically due to the realization of unified reality, both to people around them, and nature. You may identify as String Theory Gendered if you understand that reality is all connected and created from the same base structures. Pantheists may lend themselves to this gender easily if exposed to it. You may also identify less as an individual, and more just part of a whole, but this is not wholly necessary, only the knowledge of basic string theory and the unity of reality.
PLEASE NOTE: String Theory Gender is not to be confused with pangender, which is a gender that can consist of potentially infinite gender identities, although they do not clash and actually can co-exist very well together in an individual.
When you like other people's genders so much you just inhale them and boom they become yours. (The genders, not the people.) Like you just swallow those genders everywhere you go, even if it's something you hate being like exhalegender, because that's just how life is for you.
An exception for this gender is other inhalegenders because you can't intake a gender you already have.
Admin note: created by Potato_Pikawika as a Satirical Gender.
A gender that involves forcing your gender onto others by means of exhaling on them because you don't like their genders at all. (Your gender is obviously the best and you want to make sure everyone knows it.) An exhalegender person will especially do this around that inhalegender idiot who's taking up all your fresh air... I mean genders.
An exception for this gender is other exhalegenders because you can't force your gender onto someone with the same gender.
Admin note: more about this meme
Bog-Gender, not to be confused with the gender named after a marshy climate, is a gender identity named after the infamous and shadowy Bogdanoff brothers. Very little is known of this gender outside of those who hold it to be their own, and it's currently not known for certain if they even exist, or if all of gender is a construct of their will. One can learn more about this gender by locating anyone in-the-know and requesting a "quick rundown", but be warned- once you see the world as it truly is, there is no returning.
Admin note: Confuses transgender with trans-age
Kindergendered persons identify as children trapped in older bodies. Kindergenderism is often misconstrued as pedophilia. It is not. Kindergendered individuals identify as prepubescent children, usually in the 4-6 age range, though the numbers vary with the individual. Kindergendered persons love to learn and are amazed by the world around them. They often wear bright colored clothing and enjoy playing in public parks, and with toys. Kindergendered individuals face great societal pressure, as established hierarchical norms lead to them being mislabeled. Kindergendered individuals often also identify as other, more popular genders such as trans.
Admin note: confuses gender with otherkin.
the gender orientation whereby you are not only bound by societies conformities of gender-appropriate tv viewing, but also understand you are a pony in your heart.
this is different from other genders because many of my friends are bronie gendered individuals and know this is real. it is different because no other genders are ponies from My Little Pony, though we are accepting of all genders and are feminists too.
source - I am bronie gender, I am biologically a 28 year old male, but my gender is a pink pony with a silver mane called crystal tears
Admin note: confuses gender with policial affiliation
Commugender, sometimes mockingly referred to as Commiegender, is a gender identity where one's inner self feels very communist. Commugendered people are only attracted by other commugendered people, occasionaly by traditional communists. Commugendered people feel as if their gender identity is very red and proud of it. Commugendered people will occasionally starve themselves or others, simply because they want to and their gender identity dictates it.
Admin note: confuses gender with otherkin.
Mayonnaise is a gender identity that can be identified by feeling like a mayonnaise bottle. This can manifest itself as feeling that your true, inside gender is just white, with you being the container for the gender so that it does not flow out. Despite considered a satirical gender by many, Mayonnaise is an actual gender.
Deflating Balloon Gender
Deflating Balloon Gender is a term to describe people who are slowly losing their gender identity over a period of time. This is similar to how a (knotted) balloon deflates over time, losing air and slowly becoming smaller and smaller until it becomes smaller than an average-sized pear.
This gender is a process, which can last any period of time from just a few days to even a lifetime.
At the beginning of the process, a deflating balloon gendered person identifies as one or more genders, usually pretty strongly. At the end of their process, the deflating balloon gendered person will become agender, or some other form of genderless.
Admin note: more about this meme
Keksexual can be used to describe someone who identifies as children of the immortal frog deity Kek. They are agents of chaos. They also are a true gender unlike the other ones on this wiki which were made up by special snowflakes to feel special.
Admin note: mocks NWordPrivileges
Kikegender is a very seldom known and spoken of identity in the LGBT community- but they are rumored to have a much greater effect on LGBT politics than their head count would otherwise suggest. Worthy of note is that the word "Kike" is incredibly offensive if said by anyone other than kikegender, but it's perfectly fine when they say it.
Admin note: confuses gender with otherkin.
A deathclaw is someone whose gender identity is linked to that of a large and powerful mutated chameleon. They often live in packs, with the old caring for and protecting the young.
Admin note: more about this meme
Kekgenderism is a Non-binary gender identity known for being the most common gender identity amongst the population of Kekistan.
Although a loosely-defined term (for convenience's sake), kekgendered individuals are generally characterised by their tendency to exhibit certain personality trends and preferences that are different to those of other genders, these genders often being of both the binary and non-binary varieties. Anyone can be kekgendered by simply identifying as it.
Although not technically a Sexuality in and of itself, there are currently no documented cases of people who identify as kekgendered without also identifying as keksexual; because of this, people often mistake the two terms for each other, and sometimes even call them fake because of their similarity to each other.
Purple Attack Turtle Crayon
Admin note: confuses gender with hobbies and sexual orientation.
Purple Attack Turtle Crayon is a special gender where you feel at random intervals throughout the months of June, July, and august to draw pictures of turtles on the sidewalk with your head. purple attack turtle crayons are mainly attracted to red attack turtle marker, who prefer to draw on the months of December, January, February, and March. They use the pronouns f/a/g and believe sex is the ultimate way to share with others your love for your partner, which is why you would normally see purple attack turtle crayons having sex in public, especially in the presence of a large crowd. Purple attack turtle crayons find wax crayons heavily offensive and are currently working on a lawsuit to remove them from all public schools.
Most purple attack turtle crayons follow in the ways of their leader Bill Clinton, who definitely did not have sexual relations with that woman. They say Bill is the second coming of Christ and will lead all the Purple Attack Turtle Crayons to victory against the haters that dab back. Purple Attack Turtle Crayons believe they should had the same amount as Man and Females have. The Purple Attack Turtle Crayons are against the haters who hate against all the other genders other than male and female. They will dab back if they have too. Purple Attack Turtle Crayons welcome any new member because we are a loving community.
People who identify themselves as non-peaceful Reptilians accept that they are extra-terrestrial beings originating from outer space disguised as humans to hide their real reptilian form.
They have no respect for human life and often show apathy (a lack of emotions).
They may also eat their sexual partners.
Diesel Only Ford F-150
Admin note: confuses gender with otherkin.
I am introducing a new gender today, the Diesel Only Ford F-150. You have the horsepower of the car, in your penis!
This gender is for those that just feel like a toaster, and have a constant urging to toast bread in their mouths
This is the gender of tornadoes and hurricanes, with breasts and a vagina. However, it is distinct from female because you are gray instead of beige/brown. This is probably the most racist gender, mainly due to the fact that these people mostly want to have sex with straight white males.
Admin note: confuses gender with otherkin.
Waterfluid put simply means that you identify as a being made of pure water. That does not mean that they are aliens it simply means that they are beings that have evolved on earth and are made out of water. The difference between Waterfluid and normal people is that they believe that instead of being made of 70% water they are made of 90% water and 10% of other minerals that make up the composition of their skin.
There is not a lot know about waterfluid beings they have only just recently came out to the world. There has never been a better time or place to announce their existence. They are currently working on a treaty with president Trump to make them true citizens of the USA. They have tried in the past to announce their existence but past presidents did not feel that they would be accepted by the current population of that time in U.S history. President Obama even went as far as to say that he would eradicate the entire subspecies if they revealed themselves without his ok. President Trump said that it did not matter if the time was right or not they are here and they are proud.
Admin note: created as Satirical Gender by Poopydada
Fibonacci nanogender is a polygender identity that can be illustrated as such: Given genders A, B, and C, take a golden rectangle and divide it according to the golden ratio. The larger portion identifies as gender A. Then divide the smaller portion again according to the golden ratio. The larger portion of this one identifies as gender B. Then divide the part left over again as such; the larger portion of this identifies as demi-(A)-gender-demi-(B)-gender. The larger part of the next iteration identifies as demi-(demi-(A)-gender-demi-(B)-gender)-demi-(B)-gender, and so on, with the larger part of the nth iteration identifying as demi-(n-1)th-gender-demi-(n-2)th-gender. The infinitesimal portion that is left over after continuing this process ad infinitum is the portion that identifies as gender C. Such a gendered individual would be called a gender-(A)-gender co-(B)-gender Fibonacci nano-(C)-gender. For example, if A = agender, B = girl and C = boy then what we have is an agender cogirl Fibonacci nanoboy. Fibonacci nanogenders can also be genderfluid; for example, a transport-co-reconaissance nanofluid attack helicopter is a Two-Spirit transport-recon helicopter that identifies as an attack helicopter for only an infinitesimal portion of time, or over a single point over the entire earth if nanotranscontinental.
Admin note: mocks Exclusive Genders. Confuses gender with sexual orientation. The Zoboomafoo gender is specifically reserved for those who are dead but are still loved an example of someone who is of the gender Zoboomafoo would be August Ames for she is dead and yet people still masturbate to her. Also, it applies to negrophiliacs who feel they are superior to all other genders. One such person who's a Zoboomafoo is Logan Paul. Yes, the Logan Paul identifies as Zoboomafoo, so showing him to your kids isn't actually that bad for he's an example of the plus side of LGBTQ+.
Admin note:confuses gender with a transformation fetish (not otherkin because otherkin are only nonhuman is spirit/identity)
The Grasshoppergender, also just called grasshopper, is a gender that changes people's peepees into grasshoppers. Grasshoppergender people, when young, have a grasshopper egg between their legs. Between the age of 13 and 14, the egg becomes a nymph grasshopper, which means it is not fully developed. When an adult, the grasshopper is fully capable of sexual reproduction and can also be used to fly since its wings are developed. When grasshoppergender people die, the grasshopper unconnects from the person's between the legs and continues its life. The official term for a grasshoppergener person is a "ghe", example: "ghe has a big grasshopper."
Admin note: mocks Gender Fluid
Cellphonegender is a gender identity where a person changes their gender identity whenever they enter a different cellphone tower zone. The gender identity a person identifies as is up to the person.
Admin note: confuses gender with otherkin.
Identifying oneself as a Vaporizer.
A Vapegender may have a lot of variables, such as wattage, resistance, voltage and amperage.
Depending on the variables a Vapegender identifies with, its Vapegenderness will be of more or less power.
Meanwhile, Vapexism is the hatred or discrimination against people based on their vapegender identity.
Sansgender- the sexual attraction to sans from the video game undertale or/and feeling as if you are similar to sans or are sans the skeleton
Origin - Sansgender was originally founded by a LGBT person who previously identified as nonbinary demisexual, but later decided that the only exception to their demisexuality was sans from the video game undertale. This however became more when the founder realized that they also felt as if they are sans. They began to wear a hoodie and wore skeleton make up.
Despacitogender is a gender in which one is not male nor female, and is instead the embodiment of the Puerto Rican culture, and worship the song Despacito by Luis Fonsi featuring Daddy Yankee. and or the song Despacito by Luis Fonsi featuring Daddy Yankee the Justin Bieber Remix Version. This gender is not a joke, and is to be taken seriously.
ShadowGender (not to be confused with Gender Fluid) is a gender where it changes depending on the length of your shadow. Most people who identify as this gender find that when their shadow is short, they prefer to identify as female. However, when they find that their shadow is long, they prefer to identify as male. On the other hand, when their shadow is barely visible, or cannot be seen at all they prefer to identify with either no gender or all genders (this varies from person to person, depending on how they feel).
Why are short shadows female, and long shadows male?
Females on average are usually shorter than males, and this reflects that fact. NOTE - I understand that not all females are necessarily short, and similarly not all males are tall. Apologies for any offence taken.
How's no shadow mean what you have stated?
When there is no shadow, you cannot see that your either female or male, hence people prefer to identify as no gender. Alternatively, this ultimately depends on how the person feels about this, so they could decide that it means all genders. This is because they can't see their shadow, nothing is there to give them evidence as to what specific gender they should be.
Is there anything in-between a long and short shadow, in terms of gender?
Yes! If this is the case people tend to go for something in-between such as Gender Neutral or whatever they prefer really, feel free
If you have anymore questions, please comment below :)
A gender in which your eye crust completely consumes your body, transforming your genitalia as well as your mind to serve the purpose of the crust. Individuals who have this gender no longer have free will and therefore cannot control their actions.
The crust has been known to be extremely violent, even going so far as to beat his significant other. He himself has a history of intense domestic abuse and will treat his lovers with a fraction of the same treatment he received.
Crust Rhodesia Crusty (July 18, 1918 to December 5, 2013) was a violence anti-apartheid activist, politician and philanthropist who became America’s first black president from 1994 to 1999. Becoming actively involved in the lunch time movement in his 20s, Crust joined the amercian National Congress in 1942. For 20 years, he directed a campaign of harmful,violent defiance against the South African government and its racist policies. Beginning in 1962, crist spent 27 years in prison for political offenses. In 1993, Crust and South African President F.W. de Klerk were jointly awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for their efforts to dismantle the country's apartheid system. For generations to come, crusta will continue to be a source of inspiration for civil rights fuck.
Watches The Office
Watches "The Office" is a gender. It is not just a personality like some transphobes may believe. It is in fact a valid gender identity as well.
Persons who identify as Watches "The Office" not only watch "The Office," they may occasionally browse reddit as well. Person who identify as Watches "The Office" may also identify as masculine, feminine, non-binary or any other range of gender identities. They may occasionally drop references to "The Office." If you want to try to be friends with them just say something about a beet farm or Jim putting Dwight's stapler in jello.
Sometimes people who identify as Watches "The Office" may often use a unique set of pronouns. Some examples include "Micheal/Micheals/Michealself," "Jim/Jims/Jimself," "Pam/Pams/Pamself," and "Dwight/Dwights/Dwightself."
You identify as everything their touches. You like Oxigen and other gasses and every object that touches them. You could also be every other gender because gendergas are friendly.
admin note: mocks pangenderDuoquinquagintigender is a gender identity characterized by feeling as if you have an unlimited amount of genders. These can change daily, weekly, hourly, from one to another. Duoquinquagintigendered people usually do not feel the same genders for longer than 2 weeks. It very uncommon for duoquinquagintigendered people to feel one of their unlimited genders for longer than 2 weeks.
There are many duoquinquagintigendered people all around the world. However, the majority stay hidden and do not reveal their true gender identity to their friends or family in fear of mockery.
Despite duoquinquagintigendered people being able to have unlimited genders at one point in time, none of those genders can be male or female. Duoquinquagintigendered people are incapable of possessing the male or female gender at any point in time. However, some duoquinquagintigendered people reported feeling that an inanimate object is their gender.
admin note: mocks pangender Identifying oneself as all possible genders all at once. This also includes Gendergender in the gender of the genders that gendergenders feel identified with. Not to be confused with agenderagendergender, which is identifying oneself with all genders all at once but cancelling each other out.
Not to be confused with Pangender either, as Gendergender also englobes all non-accepted and non-established genders.
Identifying oneself as all genders at once, but at doing so cancelling each other out due to sheer lack of cohesiveness. Not to be confused with gendergender, which permits identifying oneself as all genders at once. The main difference is that gendergender includes gendergender in the genders gendergenders identify with, whilst agenderagendergenders do not feel identified with gendergenderism.
Someone who is Ktulugender, also spelled as Cthulhugender, is a person who thought they had no gender but then discovered that their gender had been slumbering in a place deep within them, in a death-like state. When their gender awakens, they usually commit suicide to represent the world being destroyed in the frantic madness of Cthulhu rising from his slumber.
Opti-genitalia-queer (sometimes formatted as optigenitaliaqueer or OGQ for short), is a type of gender fluidity characterised by the individual's tendency to alter their gender to that of the genitalia they are viewing, hence the name. This means that OGQ individuals:
- Become male upon seeing a penis or testicles.
- Become female upon seeing a vagina.
- Are agender when genitalia is not within their sight.
- Are bigender when genitalia from both binary genders is within their sight.
The phenomenon of OGQ was discovered in 2002 by Russian scientist and gender studies expert Zarya Lukatyanobski, who was the first to identify as opti-genitalia-queer, and also created the flag that represents it.
Some members of the opti-genitalia-queer community, dissatisfied with their orientation, have trained themselves to be able to mentally visualise an image of their desired genitalia so vivid that they are able to become the gender that corresponds with said genitalia. As a result of this, they are no longer OGQ, instead being classified as neuro-genitalia-queer, or NGQ for short.
Because OGQ people are always the binary gender that corresponds with the genitalia they are viewing, it has been reported that OGQ individuals spend abnormally long periods of time observing their own genitalia, as this is the easiest way for them to become comfortable with it. This practice frequently leads to excessive masturbation in OGQ people, and as a result of this, the OGQ community often suffers from acute social stigma and in extreme cases even blindness as a result of their habit.
OGQ individuals who are blind often struggle with their orientation, as they are unable to progress past the initial stage of being agender as a result of their condition, although many of these people find solace in becoming neuro-genitalia-queer, or alternatively even proximi-genitalia-queer (PGQ), meaning that they change genders by coming into physical contact with the corresponding genitalia. As PGQ individuals are constantly in contact with their own genitalia, however, people often find it hard to distinguish between those who identify as PGQ and those who choose to identify as cisgender.